1. There are no rules.
2. Approved scooters for racing must have wheels made from a polyurethane core with ABEC rated bearings and at least one fork at the head of the scooter attached to an aluminium deck of appropriate length joining the head clamp to the bars and a suitable braking system.
3. Helmets are to be worn securely at all times. Bare midriff to be displayed if wearing denim jeans at all times.
4. Before a race, the designated warmup zone will be in the parking lot for Mike's Divorce Lawyers & Associates, in spaces not currently occupied by vehicles.
5. Any delays to the start of race caused by excessively dapping your competitors up will result in cancellation of the event.
6. Bullying, harrasssing, sabotage or any other poor behaviour is actually kind of cool with us and we won't say anything.
7. Race length is determined by what's most convenient for the plot.
8. In the case of a dead heat, the winner will be chosen through a kissing contest.
9. We are not liable for any injuries sustained while watching the movie but we are empaths so we do feel responsible.
10. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you. Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.